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For past recaps, visit this index page: |
Project Runway Season Three: Episode Five Recap - 8/10/06
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Note: I've opened a different shop selling a couple of cool Project Runway mugs. These are the new mug slogans:
Proud member of the Michael Knight Secret Admiration Society
(For all you devoted Michael Knight fans; like me!) There's also an "I'm entitled to not like you" mug in honor of Jeffrey Sebelia and some mousepads, too. Go to the New Project Runway LipstickMystic Shop
Now, on to this week's recap! Heidi tells the designers that in this week's challenge they will be modernizing a look for a fashion icon. Only this time, instead of designers choosing models, the models get to turn the tables. It's the models who will pick which designer they want to work with. Laura has a bad flashback about past childcare workers she's hired to look after her five kids. When the staff start thinking they own the place and begin rummaging in your refridgerator for unauthorized soda, it's always bad news. She frets about this loss of control. Why should the models be in charge?
"Models, this is bad mommy! No more decision-making for you! I'm in charge! The models choose designers, and some of them choose to work with designers they've worked with before, but a lot of them don't. Narzi seizes her chance to work with Michael Knight. When she chooses him, she has a shy little purr in her voice, and you can tell the sparks are about to fly between those two. You know that Narzii will be waving her magic wand of coolness and casting lucky vibes all over the place, because that's what she does. The woman just exudes good karma. The models go back to the workroom where Tim has them each choose a photograph representing the style icon they will be imitating. There is a mad rush for certain stars, which include Marilyn Monroe, Cher, and Jackie Onassis. Clarissa has decided to work with Angela and she is prepared to "fight to the death" to nab the photo of Audrey Hepburn. There is a mad rush as the models jump on the photos of different stars, but fortunately, no models were harmed in the making of this episode. Here's the list of the designers and their style icons. Kayne - Marilyn Monroe Bradley - Cher Alison - Farrah Fawcett Angela - Audrey Hepburn Robert - Jackie O Laura - Katharine Hepburn Michael - Pam Grier Jeffrey - Madonna Uli - Diana Ross Vincent - Twiggy Most of the designers are pretty psyched about the icons they'll be creating outfits for, except poor Alison wasn't even an ovum yet when Farrah was a huge star, so she's having a little trouble getting a grasp on the whole Farrah thing.
"Now let me see. The 70's were when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, right? And they didn't have the Internet yet because Al Gore hadn't invented it." And Bradley has taken too many drugs to remember who the hell Cher is. He is clueless about her. His model tries to explain the wonder that is Cher and how many incarnations she's had in the entertainment world over the years. He's very skeptical. It's like he doesn't even believe that Cher is real. So you just know his design for her will rock - not. The designers go shopping for materials and get to work. Kayne is reimagining Marilyn Monroe as if she spent some quality time with Gwen Stefani getting up-to-date on the latest fashion. He's creating a "Marilyn in black stretch fabric and leather" dress. It looks cool. Robert is worrrying so much about creating something boring like he did in the last challenge that he creates something boring. His vision of what Jackie O might be wearing today is clunky and involves a weird rope belt with the jacket that is headed into "Carol Burnett as Scarlett O'Hara making a dress out of curtain rods" territory. Probably not what he was going for. Robert, you need to get with program! We know you're a talented designer, so stop pretending that you're not. I'm going to give you one Mystic Point right now to remind you of your fabulousness. Okay? Now will you stop with the granny outfits? Michael is rocking with his outfit. He's doing a glamourous magenta thing, which at first is a dress, but later on he decides that a dress isn't really right for Pam Grier, so at the last minute he whips up some amazing matching hot pants. Boy knows how to work the hot pants! Vincent is busy obsessing about bell sleeves. At least he's not doing a hat this time. He is, unfortunately, revisiting the nasty ass pockets he used in his very first design for the show, and they are not good when added to the dress. There is much ado about sewing machines in the back room. Angela is accused of messing up Bradley's machine, which creates a musical chair situation where everybody has to move over and steal somebody else's machine in order to work. Jeffrey "This neck tattoo is making me grumpy!" gets all mean and accuses Angela of sabotage and incompetency. And then he just simply tells her he doesn't like her. "I'm entitled to not like you, right?" Laura hops on the dogpile of pain and bitches out Jeffrey, who bitches right back. Meanwhile, peaceable Zen master Michael stands off to the side and comments on how it's not cool for everybody to gang up on Angela. Although he quickly clarifies that he's "Not trying to play Save A Ho, as we say in the hood." I've never heard of this game.
"Let's circle our men around the board while attempting to redeem the lost souls of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Tara Reid, respectively." It sounds like a perfect game to accompany Angela's current redemption arc. She's been pretty nice throughout the last few episodes and her rosettes and other funkyness haven't been overwhelming. I'm giving her one Mystic Point for showing her nicer, talented side. And I'm giving Michael one Mystic Point for being such a sweet and grounded Zen master of light. Although he'd better teach the rest of the cast how to play Save A Ho some evening. I'm dying to learn the rules. Excuse me for a moment. I have to interupt this narrative to give Jeffrey one Mystic Villain Point because he's the villain of this episode and he does it so well. Michael calls his mom and they have a cute conversation and she reminds him to keep praying throughout everything, and he says he is, and he says he feels better after talking to his mom. Don't we all? And how cool is it that Michael is man enough to admit it? Back in the workroom, Kayne is playing around wearing black mesh on his head while talking about how this is the best challenge so far. Too bad he doesn't share the black mesh head gear inspiration with Bradley, who desperatley needs guidance with his Cher design. His Cher design consists of a long sleeve top that is a combination of a mental patient's poncho and a space alien uniform. Not good. Tim Gunn comes along and offers a different take on Bradley's work. He says the top looks like armor and that he's heading into Tin Woodsman from the Wizard of Oz territory.
Probably not a good look for Cher. Or anyone.
Bradley's actual outfit. The models stop by for a fitting and Kayne is working with chatty redhead Amanda, who won't shut up. Kayne says that he would work with her again but he'd put duct tape over her mouth as a preventative measure. Because, you know, he's so quiet and restrained. It's time for the runway. This time Michael Kors is back, filling the seat that was turned incredibly boring by Vera Wang in past episodes. Diane von Furstenberg (not Anderson Cooper's mum; for some reason I get her mixed up with his real mom, Gloria Vanderbilt) is also here. She has a great fashion sense, so the bar is raised a lot higher when she sits on the judging panel. And of course Nina Garcia and Heidi are also judging. Heidi comes out wearing a, well, let's put it this way. At least she's not wearing black this time. She's wearing kind of a white German peasant flowing mini-dress with high white boots. But since she's gorgeous, she still manages to work it, baby. The models come out. The standouts are the outfits designed by Kayne, Michael, Angela, and Uli. Yes, I said Angela. Her Audrey Hepburn inspired dress is absolutely amazing. The textured elements like her little "Flourichon" designs were used carefully along the hem and waist, and the dress looks like something Christian Dior would have made for Audrey back in the day. This photo really doesn't do her dress justice. Trust me. It was fabulous to the max.
Angela's Design for Audrey Hepburn Jeffrey had been tasked with designing somethng for Madonna, and while he was very pleased with work, it seemed like he was doing his usual "grotesque" thing.
Jeffrey's Design for Madonna Bradley's design remained hopeless, and Robert's matronly Jackie O design was simply off.
Robert's Design for Jackie O Vincent's design for Twiggy wasn't completely off, but the pockets were weird. Alison's Farrah dress was pretty but not a knockout design. But the real standout was Michael with the gorgeous magenta top and hot pants he made for rockin' supergirl model Narzi. (I keep typing her name as "Narzi" as it says that on the Bravo site. I hope that's correct!)
Michael Knight's Design for Pam Griers The winning design will be featured, along with the model, in an ad for Tresemme hair products in Elle magazine, so the stakes for this runway presentation are pretty high. Alison, Laura, Uli, and Jeffrey are told to go backstage because they are in. The others remain onstage to be grilled by the judges. Vincent pisses off Diane Von Furstenberg by talking about poor Twiggy in the past tense. "She is still alive, you know." Michael Kors thinks Vincent's pockets are "insane." Which they are. Everyone loved the designs by Angela, Kayne, and Michael. Nobody was very happy with Robert or Bradley's work. Robert and Bradley are left alone onstage, and one of them will be out. Nobody really wants to get rid of Robert because he's too nice and talented. They gently tell him to stop being boring. Michael Kors says the crotch on Bradley's pants is insane. (There's a lot of insanity up there on the runway today.) Heidi says "It looks like an old Halloween costume that you pick up at the mall." Robert is in - just barely. And Bradley is out. As Heidi puts it, his was a "cheap outfit unworthy of your icon." Bradley's cool and mellow at his exit interview. He's cool and mellow all the time. He says, "This is serious high fashion going on, and I made a Tinker Toy." So at least he understands the problem. Bradley is totally the guy you'd want to have as your roommate. You know he'd introduce you to obscure CD's by bands you've never heard of. He could get you good drugs. He wouldn't mind if your girlfriend slept over every night. And he wouldn't even care much if you were late with the rent, 'cause he can always sell some of his stash for extra money. I'm giving Bradley one Mystic Roommate Point. We wish you the best, Bradley. That's it for this week! Look for my episode six recap next week! And if you missed my earlier recaps, you'll find them here: Lipstick Mystic Points Awarded So Far: Vincent Libretti: 1 Wacky Mystic Point from first week; 3 Mystic Patience Points from second week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points Alison Kelly: 1 Cute and Kittenish Mystic Point from first week; 1 Enthusiasm Mystic Point from third week; 2 Sweet Ingenue Mystic Point from fourth week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points Robert Best: 2 Funny and Fabulous Mystic Points from first week; 1 Remember You're Fabulous Point from this week; sub-total so far: 3 Mystic Points Malan Breton: 2 Mysterious and Villainous Mystic Points from first week; 2 Mystic Patience Points (for not killing his evil mother) from second week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points (Eliminated second episode; we'll miss you, Malan!) Laura Bennett: 1 Cool Mom Mystic Point from first week; 1 Well-Dressed Pup Mystic Point from third week; 2 Taming the Rosette Mystic Point from fourth week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points Michael Knight: 1 Fierce Talent Mystic Point from first week; 1 Underappreciated Genius Mystic Point from third week; 2 Taming the Rosette Mystic Point from fourth week; 1 Zen Master Mystic Point and 1 Well-Deserved Recognition Point from this week; sub-total so far: 6 Mystic Points Jeffrey Sebelia: 1 Pageants Are Weird Mystic Point from first week; 2 I Finally Get You Mystic Points from fourth week; 1 Villain Point from this week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points Keith Michael: 1 Model Strategizing Mystic Point from second week; grand total 1 Mystic Point (eliminated fourth episode) Uli Herzner: 1 Dining Mystic Point from third week; 1 Model Strategizing Mystic Point from third week; sub-total 2 Mystic Points Bradley Baumkirchner: 1 Trust Your Vision Mystic Point from third week; 1 Best Roommate Ever Mystic Point from this week; total 2 Mystic Points (eliminated this week) Angela Keslar: 1 Dr. Evil Mystic Point from second week; 1 Incomprehensible Aesthetic Mystic Point from third week; 1 Wow You Have Talent Point from this week; sub-total so far: 3 Mystic Points Tim Gunn: 2 Adoration and Worship Mystic Points from fourth week
New Shop Just Opened for Runway Gear!
"Proud member of the Michael Knight Secret Admiration Society"
And if you missed out on Season One & Season Two, check out the DVD's:
Project Runway Season One - The Complete First Season
Project Runway Season Two - The Complete Second Season
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Full tilt boogie quilted extravaganza of puff (Laura Bennett's famous saying from episode four) 
