Project Runway Season Three: Episode Six Recap - 8/17/06

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Besides the "Full tilt boogie quilted extravaganza of puff" and "Proud member of the Michael Knight Secret Admiration Society" mugs, I also have a Jeffrey quote on a mug: "I'm entitled to not like you" (remember when he said that to Angela in the last episode?) Plus I have a full tilt boogie mouspad for you.

Go to the New Project Runway LipstickMystic Shop

So let's talk about what happened on the show this week.

Heidi comes out in a gorgeous blue satin dress that I want to buy right now - give it to me! - and scolds the designers. She tells them that up until now all the challenges have been easy and that they were harder last season. Everyone makes shocked faces and Angela especially looks upset because, you know, designing balloon skirts with rosettes takes a lot of effort, so don't tell her she's not working hard, you German hussy!

It's model picking time. Michael worked with Nazri last week and decides to work with her again (excellent choice! She has the mojo!) This means Katie, Bradley's model, has to go home.

(Note: I've heard the designers say "Nazri" enough times on the show that I figure Bravo's webmaster wrote her name wrong at the show's site. So from now on, Nazri will be Nazri here in my recaps. Apologies for getting your name wrong all this time, Nazri!)

Heidi says the designers will find out more about their challenge the next day. Everybody goes home. Back at the apartments, we hear Vincent talking about how he took a big risk to come on the show, cashing out his 401k and quitting a job in order to be there, which, after seeing his Twiggy dress last week, has this viewer feeling a little anxious for poor Vincent's future.

What are those strange things on her thighs? Should she see a doctor about having them removed?

Tim Gunn wakes everybody up the next morning at 5am and tells them they're going on a road trip. It's a rainy, hazy, ugly day, and things only get uglier as the bus drives them to Newark. They pull up at some loading dock and are taken to a storage facility for God knows what. They've been told not to wear any open-toed shoes, so Robert and Kayne wonder if they're going to be made to dig something up. Alison says she has the theme from The Sopranos running through her head the whole time.

Maybe they'll be digging up the remains of the last designer who pissed off Nina Garcia? That woman has a temper on her.

"If you displease me, you're headed for New Jersey!"

Laura is wearing her riding outfit, but this loading dock doesn't look like it has any horses. Unless they're the "About to be made into glue" type of horses.

The door to a storage area is rolled up and they are presented with .....DA DA DA DA (cue dramatic music).....

Piles of crap.

Or, more accurately, piles of recyclable material. Mr. Recyling Plant Guy comes out in a hard hat and explains that they are at a waste management facility where they recycle stuff.

The designers put on hard hats and hazardous material jacket thingies that don't look very fashion forward.

Tim tells them that their challenge is to create an outfit out of this recyclable material.

Robert says his first reaction was, "Shut up! I don't want to work with trash."

But everybody's creativity kicks in, and soon Kayne is gleefully collecting bottle caps and swimming in garbage and Uli is pulling on a long piece of silver mylar wondering "Does it ever end?" which is also a good question about this awful challenge they've been given.

Creating outfits with trash is so bogus. Last season the designers worked with plant material, and that was kind of cool, but going through somebody else's garbage and gluing it onto models? So not cool.

Kayne says he's in his element because he grew up white trash and he and his sister used to play in the garbage growing up. Michael is calm and focused and says that as long as he has access to glue he is good as gold in this challenge. Vince says he's going to take this ugly stuff and make art out of it. That's fine. As long as you don't make pockets.

Back in New York they make a quick stop at an art supply store to load up on glue guns and other materials, and then they are told they have just 10 hours to create their outfits instead of the two days they've been given on most of the other challenges.

Alison starts working with pretty strips of colored paper but soon finds out she can't sew them together, so she has to change her design.

Angela is returning to her patchwork roots and and pasting bits of paper together. I don't think she can force a rosette out of these materials, which is good.

Vincent makes some philosophical statement about how he doesn't own the future and how he lets it come to him, or something like that, which in artsy fartsy language translates as: "I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I'll know what I've done after I've done it."

Laura says Vince is whacked and going to crack any day now and not mentally stable. Plus, he's weird.

"How do you really feel about Vince, Laura?"

Laura is constructing a simple cocktail dress out of peanut sacks and she's arranged the lettering on the back of the bags so that the butt of the dress reads "For nuts only."

Which pretty much sums up who this challenge is for. Only crazies need apply.

Jeffrey offers some opinions on Laura, hoping she goes to the guillotine this week, but since there haven't been any French Revolution decapitation devices spotted on the runway yet, he is bound to be disappointed.

Jeffrey is doing some really cool things with paper and cloth, painting it in all these funky shades, and suddenly his design is looking like the best one in the room.

Robert is warming up to the challenge. He says he's into recycling. "Paper, boyfriends, whatever. . ."

Kayne is doing an unfortunate dress in lime green made out of weird stuff. It involves a huge green flower he painted on the skirt, and as Kayne freely admits, "It looks like a toad exploded over it."

We learn that Michael had auditioned for Season Two but didn't make it, and he had written a little mantra to himself at the time that said "I will make Project Runway and I will win Project Runway." And now he's on the show and he's a serious contender for the final three. You go, Michael! I'm giving you one Mystic Point for demonstrating the amazing powers of mind over matter.

Vince has completely lost it at this point and is literally throwing pieces of confetti and little paper dolls he's made at his dress, sticking them on.

Tim Gunn stops by and loved Uli's dress, which is very pretty. She's woven shiny mylar and white stuff together.

Tim gives Jeffrey some love for once, looking at his dress and saying, "It's stunning."

Tim's concerned about Alison's dress, which is looking a little bulky and doesn't have much of a waist. He reminds Alision that her model is "zaftig," which is a polite way of saying she's fatter than the other models. Alison suddenly wishes she had once of Keith's contraband books around so she could look up what zaftig means, but Tim is kind enough to explain. Will her model fit in this garment? Maybe not.

Tim breaks into major giggles when he sees Kayne's creation. He tells him it looks like a high school craft project and also looks like amateur hour and pretty much insists that Kayne get rid of the awful skirt. Although the big green flower was kind of pretty. This leaves poor Kayne with no dress.

During the commercial break we get to see the lovely Kara Janx from last season wearing one of her pretty wrap dresses, shilling for Saturn. Yay, Kara! I wish I could give you a Mystic Point, but you're not in the show this season. Oh, hell, I'm giving you one, anyway. Because you're cool.

Viva La Janx! Long may she rule!

It's time to go home, and the designers are burned out. Kayne says he knows he is in danger of losing the challenge and that he definitely won't win it "Unless they're smoking crack before the runway."

Given the fact that the judges allowed Santino to make it all the way to the final three last year (and not my honeys Nick or Andrae,) I'd say that the judges have been on crack in the past. (Note: I loved Santino's final collection, but he produced so much craptastic stuff throughout season two that it was just insane that he was allowed to stick around.)

It's time for the models to be fitted into their garments, but since they're mostly stepping into cardboard or aluminum foil or whatever, nobody fits their garments very well. Alison is especially having problems with her "zaftig" model. (Who, you know, instead of being a minus three dress size is, like, a minus two size.) Alison has troubles getting the waistline to look right.

Meanwhile, Vincent's model looks like a mummy as she steps into the hard, stiff, unyielding sheath dress he's designed for her. He's oblivious, saying, "It's art" and "It gets me off," which is more than I wanted to know.

A vortex has opened up down in the Tresemme hair and makeup room, and some majorly crazy vibes are floating around. Kayne opts for leprechaun green eye shadow and wacko hair for his model, and Alison goes for the "pile her hair up into a hair bow" look.

It's time for the runway. Heidi comes out in a black Flashdance off the shoulder shirt and jeans, and Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, and celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe are to be the judges this time.

Look at Jeffrey's pretty dress:

Jeffrey Sebelia's dress

And see how pretty Robert's is:

Robert Best's dress

Uli's is nice, too.

Uli Herzner's dress

On the other hand, here was Alison's dress with the unfortunate hair bow:

Alison Kelly's dress

And here's Vincent's:

Vincent Libretti's "art" dress

And here's Kayne's toad explosion:

The toad explosion wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't gone for the ghoulish "One eye green, other eye not green so she looks like somebody beat her up" makeup approach or the "There are rats in my hair" hairdo.

Michael's design looks deceptively simple, but the bustier inside is very pretty beneath the wrap.

Michael Knight's design

The judges pass half of the designers on and tell them they are in but ask Alison, Kayne, Laura, Vincent, Michael, and Jeffrey to stay behind.

They ask Michael about his outfit and coo and purr as he explains how he just pretended that each material was a different type of fabric. Michael makes everybody coo and purr.

They point out that Vincent's model couldn't walk but Heidi applauds him for his innovation.

Everybody loves Laura's dress and Jeffrey's. Michael says Jeffrey's dress was "Ugly/beautiful, which is kind of your aesthetic." He means it in a praising way, but Jeffrey kind of stands there going, "Is this a good thing?" to himself. It is. Ugly/beautiful is much better than ugly/ugly.

They blast Kayne but Rachel Zoe says that at least his dress was intricate. Michael says it's outside the boundaries of taste.

Heidi hates the "huge shape" of Alison's voluminous dress. She also says the hair is "Minnie Mouse." Michael comments that "It looks like a dinner napkin just crumpled up" or "A paper brioche."

Uh oh. When Michael Kors comes out with the colorful analogies, this rarely bodes well for a designer.

They send the designers away to have a conference. Everybody talks about how great Michael is and how he's so thoughtful and smart with his designs. Yay! I'm glad that they're finally admitting that they love him. Maybe the Michael Knight Secret Admiration Society doesn't have to be so secret anymore. We can all come out of the closet now. (Except for Tom Cruise, who refuses to come out.)

The judges also talk about how classy and chic Laura is, both as a person and as a designer. And they really like Jeffrey's work this time.

Although Kayne's dress was a miss, Michael points out that the man really knows how to make clothes, so nobody wants to let Kayne go.

Nobody is crazy about the stiffness of Vincent's dress, so it's looking like it's a choice between Vincent or Alison to go home. Heidi's not big on the "fat Minnie Mouse" look of Alison's design.

The designers come back out and the judges applaud Michael for his innovative point of view and make him the winner of the challenge. Yay! Yay! That's two in a row for my man.

They tell Jeffrey that he came really close, but he doesn't seem to appreciate being a runner up. Backstage he says, "What a day I'm having. Michael wins for clothes that are the equivalent of diabetes food - no flavor."

Hrumph. I don't know about that, Jeffrey, don't be dissing my man.

Still, I'm going to give Jeffrey one Mystic Point because his dress was really lovely and it might have been a tad better than Michael's, actually. (Don't tell him I said that.)

And I'm also going to give two Mystic Points to Uli, who isn't being recognized enough. Her design was cool.

And Robert gets one point, too. His dress was completely overlooked and the shape and detailing were really cute, given the materials he had to work with.

They tell Vincent that there's a fine line between innovation and insanity - which is true. And they tell Alison that she had been careless with the female form when she fit the dress on her model.

Vincent is in, and Alison is out.

Vincent walks away and Alison is left standing there alone on the runway like somebody took all her puppies away, and how can this be, and whatever will be come of her? She's so sweet and adorable it breaks your heart. Vincent should have been out. Alison's a much more talented and with-it designer.

Backstage Laura goes into protective mommy mode (which is a little like Bad Mommy, her other personality) and bitches at Vincent for still being in since his model really couldn't walk in his dress. Vincent inscrutably comments, "Why don't you put some Harry Winstons up your nose." I think he's referring to Harry Winston, the famous jewelry designer, but surely this is the strangest retort in history. That Vincent -- always the innovator.

Harry Winston and his famous diamonds are Laura's style, she's so rich and elegant.

Kayne plays peacemaker and says let's not fight, this is Alison's moment, we need to spend these last minutes with her. And everybody hugs her and truly doesn't want to see her go.

In her exit interview Alison is all chipper and Mary Tyler Moore about a hopeful future, and we know she's right, wonderful things are destined to happen to our moonbeams and fairy queens girl.

If Alison were a children's toy, she'd be My Pretty Pony.

One last Mystic Point to you, Alison. Sniff. We'll miss you!

That's it for this week!

If you missed my earlier recaps, you'll find them here:

Articles index

Lipstick Mystic Points Awarded So Far:

Vincent Libretti:      1 Wacky Mystic Point from first week; 3 Mystic Patience Points from second week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points

Alison Kelly:       1 Cute and Kittenish Mystic Point from first week; 1 Enthusiasm Mystic Point from third week; 2 Sweet Ingenue Mystic Point from fourth week; 1 Sweet Moonbeams and Fairy Dreams Point from this week: Grand Total: 5 Mystic Points (eliminated this week)

Robert Best:       2 Funny and Fabulous Mystic Points from first week; 1 Remember You're Fabulous Point from fifth week; 1 You Rock Mystic Point from this week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points

Malan Breton:       2 Mysterious and Villainous Mystic Points from first week; 2 Mystic Patience Points (for not killing his evil mother) from second week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points (Eliminated second episode; we'll miss you, Malan!)

Laura Bennett:       1 Cool Mom Mystic Point from first week; 1 Well-Dressed Pup Mystic Point from third week; 2 Taming the Rosette Mystic Point from fourth week; sub-total so far: 4 Mystic Points

Michael Knight:       1 Fierce Talent Mystic Point from first week; 1 Underappreciated Genius Mystic Point from third week; 2 Taming the Rosette Mystic Points from fourth week; 1 Zen Master Mystic Point and 1 Well-Deserved Recognition Point from fifth week; 1 Mind Over Matter Mystic Point from this week; sub-total so far: 7 Mystic Points

Jeffrey Sebelia:       1 Pageants Are Weird Mystic Point from first week; 2 I Finally Get You Mystic Points from fourth week; 1 Villain Point from fifth week; 1 Ugly/Beautiful Mystic Point from ths week; sub-total so far: 5 Mystic Points

Keith Michael:       1 Model Strategizing Mystic Point from second week; grand total 1 Mystic Point (eliminated fourth episode)

Uli Herzner:       1 Dining Mystic Point from third week; 1 Model Strategizing Mystic Point from third week; 2 Uli Love Mystic Points from this week; sub-total 5 Mystic Points

Bradley Baumkirchner: 1 Trust Your Vision Mystic Point from third week; 1 Best Roommate Ever Mystic Point from this week; total 2 Mystic Points (eliminated fifth episode)

Angela Keslar:       1 Dr. Evil Mystic Point from second week; 1 Incomprehensible Aesthetic Mystic Point from third week; 1 Wow You Have Talent Point from fifth week; sub-total so far: 3 Mystic Points

Tim Gunn: 2 Adoration and Worship Mystic Points from fourth week

Kara Janx: 1 Viva La Janx, Long Live the Janx Mystic Point from this week

New Shop Opened for Runway Gear!

"Full tilt boogie quilted extravaganza of puff"

"Proud member of the Michael Knight Secret Admiration Society"

And more goodies, check them out!

And if you missed out on Season One & Season Two, check out the DVD's:

 Project Runway Season One - The Complete First Season

 Project Runway Season Two - The Complete Second Season