Welcome to my first weekly astro-update! I'm psyched about offering this new feature. Look for fresh astro-updates to be posted each Monday (or a little earlier, if I'm going to be traveling and away from the computer.)

Many of you are familiar with my short, sassy horoscopes which appear in arts weeklies like Philadelphia Weekly, Access Atlanta, and Core Weekly. Those horoscopes are very different from what you'll find here. While Lipstick Mystic Stars, my syndicated column, offers a snarky view of what the planets are up to, this new feature will be very different.

These weekly astrology updates are aimed at providing you with information that goes beyond those weekly horoscopes, giving you practical guidelines for surfing those cosmic waves. Need guidance about managing relationships? Wonder what emotional challenges might come your way? Wnat to move through energy blockages and experience greater joy? The Lipstick Mystic's weekly astro-updates will give you exactly what you need. Consider these weekly horoscopes on steroids, bulked up with provocative and revealing info that you can use right now to improve your life.

I'm buzzing with excitement about this (of course, this might have something to do with that venti-sized java I have sitting on my desk.) So, with no further ado, let's look into the planetary energies for the week of Monday, April 11th through Sunday, April 17th, 2005.

Overview for the week of Monday, April 11 - Sunday, April 17th

Mercury has been retrograde since March 19th, but on Tuesday, April 12th, it goes direct again. Yay! This will lighten our spirits and create a more harmonious tone. Get ready to feel perky instead of peevish. Prepare to be optimistic instead of curled up in a fetal position, sucking your thumb. In short, the energy will be bouncier, and you'll feel far less emotional gravity pulling you down. If it seems like you've been trapped in a black hole lately, blame it on Mercury's activities.

You probably know that several times a year Mercury, the communicator planet, goes retrograde. This happens for a three and a half week stretch - and it sucks! When Mercury is retrograde, it appears to be traveling backwards in its orbit around the sun from our vantage point here on Earth. A lot of friction can be stirred up, and more chaotic or oppressive events seem to happen on the world stage during Mercury retrograde. During this Mercury retrograde we had a terrible school shooting in Montana, another nasty earthquake in Indonesia, and the marriage of Prince Charles and Camilla. Oy! Sometimes there can be significant passages, too, such as the recent passing of the Pope, the sad Terri Schiavo case, and the death of Prince Rainier.

Since Mercury influences the energy emissions of technological devices, you may find that your computer, printer, or car doesn't work so well during Mercury retrograde. Mercury also rules the energy flow between people, and when it's retrograde, your boss is more likely to morph into an inverse superhero called Mr. Crankypants. Or you'll find yourself more prone to bitchy behavior with your loved ones. "Get your hands off my Doritos NOW or I will gut you with this steak knife!"

Generally speaking, people don't display their best side during Mercury retrograde. The "shadow" aspects of our personalities tend to dominate. People air their dirty laundry and get all caught up in expressing their wounds.

Here's how I try to handle Mercury retrograde: I step back from intense interpersonal exchanges as best I can, since I figure everybody is going to be acting more insane like usual, and I make like a mallard - that is, duck! I've noticed that during retrograde times people try to pull me into arguments or offer nasty comments or personal criticism, and it's best for me to just turn the other cheek and disengage.

Mercury retrograde periods offer us all plenty of opportunities to engage in personal drama, but such exchanges are an option, not a necessity! So just say no to melodrama and needless anger. Forgiveness and patience are the best personal qualities to bring forward during these times, even if you find yourself wanting to slap somebody senseless.

The good news is that Mercury goes direct on Tuesday the 12th, so those retrograde influences will be noticeably lighter on Monday and will fade completely from view by Tuesday or Wednesday. Mercury goes direct at 3:45 am Tuesday here in the Eastern part of the US. (If you're in the UK, add five hours. So you'd experience Mercury coming out of retrograde at 8:45 am, which will give you a nice start to your day.) Whatever world time zone you're in, by Wednesday morning at the latest you'll feel retrograde's grip loosening up.

The other major thing that happens this week is Venus moving into the sign of Taurus on Friday, the 15th, where it will remain until May 11th. Taurus and fellow Earth signs Virgo and Capricorn will receive a nice dose of creative energy as this artistic planet boosts their imagination. Passion of all kinds will be the theme for these signs, since Venus rules creative passion AND the more bodily kind. So this will be an interesting three and a half weeks if you were born under these signs. You could develop a hot crush on the mailman or an insatiable yearning for someone in your immediate social circle. Yummy!

You can read more about what each of the signs will be experiencing below. If you know your moon sign and your rising sign, you might want to read about what that sign is going through, too, to give you a more complete picture of the energies that are influencing you.

Aries the Ram

You're at your best in the springtime, since the sun is in your sign from March 20th to April 19th. With Mercury also in Aries and Venus just passing out of it, you'll find that you are reinventing your personal and professional life. Keep exploring those wonderful ideas you've been getting about building a business, marketing yourself in creative ways, and/or networking with others. After Mercury goes direct on the 12th, those seeds you've been planting could start to take off in a big way. A flurry of sudden activity could mark both your personal and professional life. Just remember to get some sleep once in a while and to eat something other than fast food or items that come out of the vending machine at work. During times of excitement and tension, the Aries body functions better if it's junk free.

Taurus the Bull

If you were born under the sign of Taurus, you're building up a head of steam with Venus moving into your sign. You could be feeling restless, anxious, and impatient because you're eager to experience significant change. Some things won't take off until the sun moves into your sign on April 20th, so hang in there. This week is a great time for planning, strategizing, and researching. Creative inspiration will be strong, and in romantic matters, you could find that a certain special someone is suddenly on your mind, big-time. Be thinking about ways to woo and to impress that luscious soulmate. As Venus continues its journey through your sign over the next three and a half weeks, a new relationship may come into view or a long-time commitment may take on a frisky, lusty energy.

Gemini the Twins

As a Gemini, you've been stirred up about career issues since powerhouse Mars moved into friendly Air sign Aquarius on March 21st. Mercury retrograde has slowed things down, though, so you could be feeling a bit frustrated. Why aren't your dreams taking off? Don't freak out. As Mercury goes direct, look for helpful associates, pleasant companions, and new friends to offer you more pieces of the puzzle. You may be missing some important information that you need to incorporate before you can line up that new job or make that big move. Over the next few weeks, be more assertive, take risks, and be bold, because Mars will bring you a big pay-off before long. Some old structures still need to break down so that fresh energies can come into play. Keep pushing through stuff you've outgrown and relationships which have worn out their welcome. Think: spring cleaning.

Cancer the Crab

You've been going through an intense re-examination of how you are living your life. Saturn, planet of responsibilities, has been in your sign, and it was in retrograde until March 22nd. Now that Saturn is direct, you'll have greater clarity about what you really want to be when you grow up. Housing issues or renovation plans will start to make sense, finally. If you're considering a move, thinking about refinancing, and/or wanting to sell a property, these issues will start to come together over the next few months. This is one of those years where you are rebuilding your life from the ground up. It may feel stressful, but ultimately, all of the hard work you are putting in will be worth it. So keep doing your homework and remain confident that you'll soon be receiving gold stars.

Leo the Lion

There's a lot going on with Leo. In March, a triple dose of planets stirred up powerful energy in the friendly Fire sign of Aries. So you've experienced progress in areas like self-esteem, personal growth, and goal-setting. Luck has been yours, and for once, you haven't had to work so hard to see real results. Now that the planets are gradually moving out of Aries, your challenge is to make use of the opportunities that have been coming your way and to ground them into a more permanent form. A romantic relationship could be taking on a new routine or structure, and you'll be getting used to that shift. A work situation could be changing dramatically, and you may be getting adjusted to this. Surrender your need for control and allow things to assume their ideal shape this week. You'll be pleased with the results.

Virgo the Virgin

If you're a Virgo (like me,) you've probably been a little bitchy over the past few weeks while your ruler Mercury was in retrograde. Now things are starting to make sense again. Sometimes, you can be your own worst enemy, and self-doubt may have surfaced intensely during this retrograde time. Dust yourself off this week, plant yourself firmly on the path again, and push forward. As Venus moves into friendly Taurus at the end of the week, you'll find that the Universe is giving you a break from your troubles. Embrace helpers and allies who may appear out of the blue, helping you to sort through your problems and to discard stuff that isn't serving you. Think about what you need to release and what energies you want to anchor more permanently into your life. That way, you'll be perfectly positioned to make a bold move next week.

Libra the Scales

Jupiter is making a long-term transit through your sign, bringing you an overall sense of flow and growth. But it's been retrograde since early February, and you haven't been making as much progress in your career and relationships as you might like. Jupiter remains in retrograde until June 5th, when it will usher in a tremendous period of happiness and success for you. Until then, be patient! You've earned a lot of karmic brownie points, and they're still being stored in the system. These good deeds and loving intentions will catch up with you before long. This week, focus on compassion and being helpful to others. Pointless acts of generosity and simple moments of empathy will reconnect you with the vibration which makes miracles possible.

Scorpio the Scorpion

I feel your pain, Scorpio! Mercury retrograde has provided a few unfortunate hits to your self-esteem as people have been bringing grumpy energy your way. Try not to take this stuff personally. As a sensitive Water sign, you have a wide psychic antenna and tend to pick up on other people's chaotic emotions. As Venus moves into Taurus, your opposite sign, you could be re-examining a romantic relationship, a close friendship, or a business partnership and finding out whether this union really serves you on all levels. if you feel misaligned with this person and sense that you are outgrowing this energy, consider moving on or find a way to minimize contact. As spring progresses, you'll want to arrange your life so that you are surrounded by fans instead of drained by psychic vampires. Protect your personal energy and eliminate parasitic types.

Sagittarius the Archer

Jupiter, your ruler, has been retrograde since early February, and it will go direct in June. If you are considering a change in location, a shift in relationship, or a new job, it's a little too soon just now to make a move. This week you'll have a sudden insight or an enticing glimpse of your future. Hang on to this vision. The moon and Jupiter align in a nice trine on Tuesday, the 12th, on the same day Mercury goes direct, so pay attention to any "Eureka!" that strikes you at that time. The planets are boosting your intuition and giving you the chance to take a more active role in shaping your future. Don't be a victim of fate. Prepare to take an assertive role and work to create the reality that you really want for yourself. Do some meditating, praying, and connecting with your highest truth. By June, the dreams you want to manifest will be fully within reach.

Capricorn the Goat

Many astrologers tend to be dismissive of Earth sign Capricorn, portraying you as a hopeless workaholic with no room in his life for fun. But this astrologer knows that isn't true! Career is an important part of your life, but that's because so much of your life purpose is tied to bringing concrete, tangible value to others. If you don't feel you are creating good things, you tend to be miserable. Now that creative Venus is moving into friendly Taurus, you'll find your imagination taking off. If you can apply part of this energy to your work and part of it to your personal life, you'll do just fine. Don't work 7 days a week without making time for at least one night of inventive passion with that special soulmate. Access the lusty power of Venus as well as her artistic energies.

Aquarius the Water-Bearer

You and fellow Air sign Gemini have a lot of parallels going on. Mars moved into your sign on March 21st, filling you with the conviction that you CAN make this a better planet, you CAN help world peace to break out all over, and you CAN accomplish important things in both your professional and personal life. Mercury retrograde put a temporary damper on this unbridled enthusiasm, but this week, you'll be able to reclaim that spiritual energy. Look for huge inspiration to dawn on Wednesday, when the moon and Mars have a friendly handshake (or trine.) You'll see a safe passage through your troubles and mark out some creative ways of having fun, sharing good times with friends and entering into some fresh spring adventures.

Pisces the Fish

Mercury retrograde times tend to make you very introspective. Now that you've spent several weeks plumbing those depths, you're ready to become active in the outside world again. Sensitive Water signs need to go underground once in a while to recharge their batteries. But as Venus moves into steady, stable Taurus, you'll feel safer about emerging from that protective cave and more interested in participating in social events. By mid-week, some impromptu visitors may show up on your doorstep or some exciting invitations may come your way. As you head into the weekend, step away from the computer, the TV, or whatever book you've been reading and spend some exhilarating times with friends and loved ones. Bouncing social energy off of others will recharge and invigorate you. Have fun!

See you back here next Monday for more astro-updates!