A lot of people I’m in touch with right now, both personally and professionally, seem to be going through a “friend cleansing period.” This is when you take stock of people you’ve allowed to be close to you, emotionally, professionally, or personally, and you REALLY look at the energy they are bringing into your life. Is it truly supportive? Or is it more in the vein of “I’ll tolerate you and project a feeling that you should be GRATEFUL for my positive regard.” Is it conditional affection? Or is it unconditional love? Is it “I hold the highest, best thoughtforms about you, and I always see you as a perfect, beautiful being,” or is it “You’re a piece of shit or I don’t agree with a lot of what you do/say/are, but I will pretend to care about you.”
As your psychic sensitivity increases, your psychic empathy — your ability to read people’s true intentions and feelings — will also increase.
And you can end up discovering some TERRIBLE, even heart-breaking things about people who have been your friends for YEARS.
But….seeing the TRUTH is ALWAYS better than believing lies. Casting out emotional poisons, toxic friendships that aren’t really friendships, and people who hold limiting, low or even hateful thoughts about you is VERY important if you want to be healthy on all levels. Because if you’re still intimately linked with these people, it WILL drag you down. It creates auric leaks or energy leaks in your auric field, which make it very hard for you to raise the necessary energy to be healthy physically, financially, and creatively.
You can feel guilty about jettisoning some of these friendships; I know I have in the past. But there wasn’t a single friendship I’ve let go of that I’d want in my life now. Given a few years and a bit more life experience, and assuming that you move on into much healthier, nurturing, and progressive situations, you’re not going to feel remotely attracted to toxic people from your past.
So. . . friend cleansing can be a GOOD thing. A wonderful thing.
It’s not always COMFORTABLE, though. At least in the short-term. It can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months for that live psychic wire that still connects you and that other person to completely dissipate.
And this can be EXTREMELY difficult if it’s a family member you’re trying to break free of. I have a dear lioness-hearted friend who is one of the bravest people I’ve ever met in this regard; she’s always used a very simple litmus test when determining whether or not to stay in touch with genetic family members: “Is the person someone whom I would consider a friend? Do they bring positive energy into my life?”
And if they fail that test, she has no problems breaking off ties. She also grew up in a very difficult, abusive situation, so she has had to get this hard-edged and crystal clear about things for her own sanity and well-being.
But we could ALL learn something from that.
For example, the whole notion of inviting a million family members to a wedding never held any appeal to me. These are people I’ve usually spent a great deal of time and money on in the past, sending them generous holiday gifts, attempting to engage them with emails and letters, and most of them know little about me, couldn’t care less about me, and don’t even know my current phone number. Several years back I stopped attempting to engage most of them except my own really sweet and loving parents and a very lovely aunt of mine. The rest? Meh. Fuck ‘em. I have a psychic cousin of mine whom I used to adore who wouldn’t return my phone call when I called her right after my heart attack; and she has complained to the extended family, “What’s wrong with Jennifer? She doesn’t call anymore.”
Another aspect of daily life that makes breaking off connections with toxic people even more complicated is the FUCKING INTERNET. Because if you’ve got Facebook friends or Twitter followers or LinkedIn colleagues or blog readers or website visitors or people who still know your email address, you can still have energy from that person coming to you for quite some time. And it can be painful and difficult to completely break those ties.
I want to share a modified version of some ideas I recently shared with someone who is going through her own challenging, yet energetically liberating and spiritually necessary, friend clearing time. Even though she had broken off ties with this person, she soon realized that she was still getting psychically slimed by this person just by being connected to her through the Internet.
I chimed in to say:
Yes, even the Internet creates a psychic link with people — the worse of course being texts or live chat, with Facebook a close second, and any other type of construct where you have no control over that person contacting you is almost as bad — like where people can post comments on your blog or Facebook wall or whatever. Even personal email carries a lot of energy.
Get this….I sometimes get slimed by people responding to posts I’ve made at old discussion forums going back some six years! I’ll wake up feeling a slight “disturbance in the Force” and then look at my website stats to see where traffic is coming from and, sure enough, some “dialogue” will have been stimulated somewhere where people are responding to something I wrote ages ago (usually calling out Reiki or other entity-ridden metaphysical systems and trying to help people understand some of the issues involved). And I can clearly see the cause (people getting their knickers in a twist surrounding me) and the effect (me feeling attacked–it’s like low level hatred floating around, not pleasant!).
So there is very much a “live wire” created through Internet contact, unfortunately.
This is because of all the crystalline and metallic components within our computers and communication systems. They’re strong conduits not just for physical energy but for psychic energy, too.
Think of how often people work with crystals for healing, meditation, psychic work and so on. There’s a simple reason; they are AMPLIFIERS of thought, making it easier to “see” things psychically or project thoughts outward. So then you have a worldwide network of crystalline and metallic components that increases the intensity of how humans communicate now. If we only talked face to face, or even phone line to phone line, it wouldn’t be so STRONG out there. Strong can be great when two people share a loving energy, but when you’re standing in opposition to someone about something it makes things terribly intense.
Electric violet healing energy projected throughout your aura, done kind of like an immune system boost, really helps block out these feelings of discomfort, but you also have to work at core damage where you are still resonating with those people’s low thoughts about you. Keep working at clearing out the PLACE INSIDE OF YOU where this stuff can grab you and make you feel bad at myself.
This is one of the reasons why I gave myself permission a couple of years ago to fully “own” my righteous anger and let loose with the four letter words when required, because sometimes you need to assume a posture that isn’t so soft and yielding, so you’re standing up against bullies — energy bullies or verbal bullies!
With old relationships it can take a little while for those feelings of vulnerability to pass. It’s kind of like a romantic breakup, where you might still be processing stuff. Try to avoid the tendency to go, “But X is really a good person, s/he means well; maybe I’m wrong to minimize or cut off contact.”
No, you’re not wrong! There’s an energy contagion there that isn’t healthy to be around and it’s certainly not going to help advance you in life! Negative “energy cooties” from a toxic person can really keep you immersed in bad situations or bad vibrations, and that in turn makes YOU start to resonate with worser and worser stuff. And as you work to heal yourself you’ll become more “allergic” to cootie carriers.
After a clearing period you’ll often find that things are very quiet for a little while as you go through a system “reset”, and that’s when you will want to be very gentle on yourself. You’re kind of in the womb recovering and gestating into the new you. Then, after that time, you’ll start to notice more cool and energetically “clear” people turning up in your life, and that will be the sign that you’re over the hump!