Do We Only Get One Soulmate? - 5/30/06

(A reader had written to me about a difficult breakup he recently had with a woman he believed to be a soulmate - someone he had an exceedingly strong love bond with. He was processing all the emotions which accompany such an event, and I thought I'd share with him some of my own insights about soulmates. It's "normal" to go through a period when you're devastated at the loss of a soulmate relationship when you are "mad at God" about the whole thing. We address that and other issues here.)

Dear T.,

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been having, but I do truly feel that this is not the end of your capacity to be in an amazing relationship with someone who  shares your vibe.

Meeting Your First Soulmate is a Huge Step

I found within my own life and within the lives of thousands of people I've counselled that the FIRST sign that you're making progress spiritually is when a soulmate type DOES show up in your life -- this is someone who has been your romantic partner or spouse in past lives. This is a sign that you've reached a new level of vibration with the romantic partners you're attracting.  You're no longer just attracting cool dates, you're starting to magnetize people who have a greater level of compatibility at the soul level. This is a good thing!

However, it doesn't always work out that you get to stay with this person forever. Often, this type of person shows up to OPEN YOU UP to the possibility that such a deep level of connection can even be experienced with someone. That's the gift of that relationship, that process of opening up to experiencing a greater degree of love with someone.

Obviously, you'll experience an intense pull toward this person and a strong sense that "This is the ONE," and it will be very hard as you're caught up in these feelings to believe that there could be others out there who not only carry this vibration of love and familiarity, but who are also more compatible with you on an earth plane level (as far as their religious upbringing/programming, money patterns, family issues, etc.)

Attracting Multiple Soulmates

But the NEXT step - and please trust me on this, as I know this will happen for you - is when you start experiencing a MULTIPLICITY of soulmates - magnetizing more than just one person with whom you share that multidimensional feeling of "home." 

You know how a person can make you feel like you've come "home," and you didn't even realize that you WEREN'T "home?"  Soulmates do that because we have travelled through so many aeons with them. We're very much in synch with them because we share a similar vibration.

Within this abundance of soulmates that will eventually manifest some may be male, some will be female, and many of these will be friends, so it's not just romantic partners I'm talking about. Then, when you're ready, you will manifest that soulmate who is "The one for you in this lifetime" -- that is, if we only get one!

We Get More Than One Soulmate

Personally, I believe we are presented with several primary soulmates we can choose to be with, and it's important to keep invoking/praying that we be drawn to the person with whom we can share the greatest degree of love and "spiritual magic," for our highest good and their highest good. That way, the decision becomes easier about who is best for us and the path will become clear.

To use an example from my own life - I had met someone at 25 whom I was absolutely DEVASTATED to discover was already married with three kids. I tried to just have a friendship with him because our soul connection was exceedingly strong and we had a lot to teach each other about spirituality, psychic development, etc.  I had had dreams about this person for years previously, even left a prior relationship because I didn't want to "miss out" on meeting this incredible person because I knew he and I had been lovingly partnered in many lifetimes.

Well, we met, the connection was mutual and exceedingly psychic (dreams about each other were constant, we had a strong psychic bond).  But we had to control and repress the romantic urges, which was very hard to do. Eventually I had to break off all contact because I was just too heartbroken all the time and I had no intentions of  breaking up a marriage or orphaning his three kids.

So I was where you are now - pretty mad at "God."  Why had I been sent on this spiritual quest, gone through hoops to find this person ( I had even moved to a particular state and town in anticipation of meeting this person, and he showed up a few months afterward.) etc. but not been able to manifest a relationship with him in an appropriate way? I felt like I'd been duped, tricked by God.

Well, time heals, and I never lost my spiritual faith, and the good news was that I later met someone with whom I had an even stronger "jolt" of familiarity and intense love, knowing I had known him in many lifetimes, and he had it too, and we've been together for over seven years. 

Interestingly enough, it turned out that a lot of the prophetic dreams I'd had years previously about the soulmate I would meet one day fit HIM much more than they fit the married guy with kids - only I didn't figure this out at first. My dreams had contained some very specific details, like the fact that this man had once been to Portugal and dreamed of going back there for a visit - which fit my current honey and not the married man. The guy in my dream also dreamed of becoming a helicopter pilot, we were flying around together in the dream, and the married guy had no such desire but my current honey does. So the clues were all there leading me to the right person, I just didn't interpret them correctly.

My current honey and I knew each other on a casual basis for some time, but he was with somebody else, and I didn't put two and two together until he broke up with her and we suddenly connected on a more romantic level. It came as a surprise, the level of connection that sprang up. So sometimes these things are revealed gradually, at the right time, and you might not even know that this is a soulmate to you when you first meet him or her. So do some exploring!

The neat thing is that the universe DOES know what is right for you, if you get out of the way. Through time and wisdom I saw how the first guy was really wrong for me in just about every way, other than spiritual love being in the picture. He is a devout Catholic who almost became a priest, and while he was always very respectful of my worldview, I felt that I was there to teach him how to use his psychic gifts more directly, and he had certain blockages about receiving this teaching. It was very frustrating.

Imagine finding a Luke Skywalker who doesn't realize the incredible spiritual power he has within him and can't quite access it because of certain programming within Catholicism that purposefully blocks off direct use of this gift! I was very upset about this.

There were also many other "Earth plane" issues that, I realized later, would have tripped us up as a couple. Lack of compatibility on other levels. He had a very different destiny than mine that would have completely disrupted the path I needed to take in this life.

So I just wanted to let you know how the whole soulmate issue often unfolds for people. Don't live in a poverty of soulmates, as your spiritual "quest" is to work on your own spiritual self-correction and then to joyfully welcome the compatible souls who join you on the path - in the right time!

Manifest a True Partner in Spiritual Work

One more thing - don't rule out the possibility, too, that you have healing abilities and that it's best for you to be with a partner who also is a healer, so you can do great good together on the planet. My honey and I do massive amounts of healing work, addressing many issues ranging from expelling ET's, discarnates, and negative energies to healing people throughout space and time - big stuff. My life would be nothing, pretty much, without a spiritual warrior at my side ready to take on these exciting projects!  And the earlier guy would in no way have been able to handle it.

So perhaps it will comfort you to think honestly about your ex and see if you really believe she would have been capable of partnering with you in any meaningful spiritual work. Because that may be a part of your highest path as you continue to awaken, too, and you can't afford to be with somebody who doesn't "get it " and can't work with energies herself if you reach that point of being a more active healer guy.

The wrong romantic partner can really throw you off track and keep you from realizing your spiritual purpose in this lifetime. Don't let that happen to you, no matter how many "tempting prospects" cross your path! Dare to be a little picky, as you're a special person and you deserve a soulmate - not just a pleasant companion.

And there is a HUGE difference :)

--LipstickMystic