The Psychic Echoes of Death

My mother died almost six weeks ago, on a Tuesday afternoon. She was fine that morning and dead just a few hours later, so neither my dad nor I were with her when she passed over.

But that was kind of “meant to be,” I believe. My mother never liked to trouble anybody with her pain or her problems, so she chose a rare moment during the weeks when my dad and I were providing care for her 24/7 when my dad was at work and I was away to pass on. There had been many signs prior to that that she was choosing to go, but they were somewhat subtle, and because I was sleep deprived at the time and also just focusing each day on helping her get through a very difficult gauntlet of doctor’s appointments and pre-surgery/surgery approval appointments which lasted for weeks, I was very micro-focused: my intention was just to help her get through the next few minutes, the next few hours, so she could get the spinal surgery she so desperately needed. She had had a health setback in the meantime and was in the hospital being observed; and she was diagnosed there with an ulcer, and she was receiving treatment for it; and no doctors or nurses warned us that she was in any danger at all of, well, dying on us.

But these things happen.

For the five Tuesdays after she died, in the afternoon, I experienced a phantom version of her death throes — her asphyxiation, her fear, her loss of consciousness. This happened even when I didn’t consciously know it was Tuesday, or I wasn’t even thinking, “Hey, my mom died a week ago/two weeks ago/three weeks ago.” I was still receiving phantom psychic echoes of her last moments each Tuesday afternoon. They would come upon me as sharp physical symptoms around the exact hours when she had been dying, every Tuesday, no matter where I was or what I was doing. It was like a “ghost event” trapped in time, and I kept reliving it with her.

This Tuesday I finally didn’t feel that anymore. Which was nice. My mom passed pretty peacefully, but death is still intense even in the best of circumstances; and feeling those psychic echoes each week was making me miserable.

There were other psychic echoes, too.

Shared DNA Acts as a Radio Transmitter

When you lose a parent, whether you love and adore that parent and are close to them (as I was) or not, you will experience something weird. Think of you and your parent as radios. And imagine that you are connected by a stream of frequencies that is broadcasting back and forth all the time. Even if you’re not talking that much or don’t see each other very much, and even if the two of you are estranged and never talk, you will still have a constant broadcasting and transmission of energy going on between you at a subconscious or psychic level.

This is because of your shared DNA. DNA is both a communication tool and a transportation tool – the ultimate Cosmic Internet.

Then when your parent dies, they spend a lot of time and energy gathering strength and healing and regenerating in various other dimensions. And the “broadcast” signal you’re used to experiencing with them gets messed up with, interrupted, disrupted. Which feels extremely jarring, especially if you’re very psychic. It’s like you’re sending out a homing beam or signal and it keeps being rejected at the other end because that person doesn’t have a physical body anymore, and you feel a horrific and almost cellular sense of disruption.

And then you have loads of dream interactions with that parent, as I did, and lots of waking hour moments of connection with them, which is sad and intense because you’re not going to be able to talk to them in a “normal” way anymore, and everything is moving to a more metaphysical level. Even if your loved one was in pain and you’re happy, on a conscious level, that they’re not in pain anymore, the HUMAN level of loss can be almost unsurmountable to deal with. I felt rocked by psychic earthquakes every day, several times a day, for about five weeks after my mom died.

This was going on EVEN THOUGH I was also able to do lots of shamanic work to help her in the three days after her passing, and I had many conscious moments of conversation with her, and she conveyed many loving and happy messages to me.

THE HUMAN LEVEL OF LOSS HIT ME LIKE A TRAIN WRECK THAT KEPT HAPPENING, SEVERAL TIMES A DAY, FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS.

It was a very humbling experience for me. See, I’m a veteran psychopomp/shaman who has assisted with the death and transition of LOTS of humans, animals, birds, plants, trees, you name it. But usually I’m more distanced from the situation.

When the person who dies shares your DNA, there are ancestral echoes of energy, unresolved psychic data, that reverberate through time and space. This happens whenever your parent (or sibling or child) dies and leaves this dimension, while you remain behind.

And you pretty much just have to BE with the process.

That’s why I was so fucking pissed off at my former online “friend” I ranted about recently who didn’t have any empathy for anything I conveyed to her; plus she had no clue about the relentless, ongoing, psychic attacks and personal attacks that for some reason were raining down on me around the same time as my mother’s sudden illness and very fast death. (I was hit by antimatter energies/entities because I was weakened, sleep deprived, and not as able to protect myself as I normally would be; so I had identity theft, bank fraud, account problems, other loved ones in health jeopardy, and a whole bunch of stuff that happened WITHIN JUST A FEW FUCKING DAYS OF EACH OTHER right as I was in emergency mode dealing with my mom’s stuff and my dad’s shock and grief and putting together a funeral and all that nonsense. *Side rant: don’t get me started on funerals.*)

Prepare for Lots of STUFF When a Close Loved One Dies

The main concept here that I want to get across is that you are GOING TO EXPERIENCE very intense stuff around the loss of a close loved one. And lots of sort of creepy but well-intentioned people will talk to you in hushed voices going, “How can I help you? If you need anything, call.” And what you really need is to NOT DO ANYTHING FOR A FEW WEEKS and sit and process and feel and remember and grieve and laugh and love in exactly the right way for you.

But we don’t let people do this. The legal system certainly doesn’t. You’ve got to pay to cremate or bury a body; you’ve got death certificates to order, loads of accountants, bank managers, lawyers, funeral people to deal with; you’re expected to call every single person who knew the dead person to let them know about the death and/or funeral; it just goes on and on. My dad did far too much of this and is still enmeshed in this; it will take months and months to resolve my mother’s “estate” legally and financially, even though she had little to no income or property. It’s absolute, fucking torture what survivors are required to do after somebody dies.

So then I was also working hard to keep my dad upright, functional, talking, healing, grieving in a healthy way, and also distracting him from his horrible loss. As an empath, dealing with the intense grief HE was projecting at me was worse than dealing with my own grief around my mother’s death. This has lightened up somewhat since we’re at the six week point but it is still very, very bad. Not his fault. You love somebody for 50 years and share a life with them, their loss is going to be devastating. And I have no other siblings and only one other close family member, my mother’s sister, to help my dad process this difficult energy he’s going through.

Every family constellation is different, every death is different; but I can tell you, none of it is easy.

It doesn’t matter how psychic you are; being psychic gives you some comfort, because it’s been really nice being able to truly see and chat with my mom and help her during her transition; she’s taught me a lot, more material for my book about death and dying that I’ve been working on for quite a long time. (The archonic/demonic psychic enslavement of souls down here on Earth, where we’re put into an immediate “memory wipe” after death and then stuffed down into bodies again in a forced and violative reincarnation cycle, is slowly breaking down, but it’s still hard for humans to summon up enough energy to bypass going to the “Light” — which is an alien/demonic/ET light that just sends you back for recycling; instead, you have to exert spiritual sovereignty, heal yourself very rapidly from the trauma you experienced around the time of your death — including the poisons from the drugs you might have been on — and choose to reconnect with your ETERNAL SELF, which exists through multiple dimensions and is not bound to reincarnate.)

Anyway, I know I’ll have more to share about some of these things, but right now I’m sort of standing with one foot in the zone of still needing some privacy to process and learn and heal, and one foot still out in my public teacher/mystical guide role.

Thanks to everyone who has given me energetic support to just GO THROUGH THIS and who hasn’t told me I’m an entitled little shit who needs to visit India to get some perspective (this, just a few weeks after my mother’s death — GEESH.)

You know what? When death comes for somebody you love, I mean, somebody you truly, madly, deeply love, and you are dealing with the absolute devastation of that…..YOU GET TO BE DEVASTATED. YOU NEED TO FEEL EVERYTHING THAT YOU’RE FEELING. THIS IS NORMAL. THIS IS HEALTHY.

And if anybody, anyone, says “Suck it up; be a man; you’re not being spiritual;” or whatever, then you know what?

You’ve learned a lot about them.

#1) That person has never really loved anybody; so if someone they know dies, they truly don’t give a flying fuck. So they have no ability to understand what you went through; or

#2) That person has loved others but hasn’t yet suffered that type of loss, so they don’t understand; and/or

#3) That person is an emotionally abusive piece of shit and you should have nothing further to do with them, through space and time. (Unfortunately, there are a LOT of people like this; narcissists who can’t deal with you when you’re going through a difficult time because they’re used to draining your goodwill and monopolizing your attention 24/7, so when you’re in a real crisis, they reveal their true colors. And the truth is ALWAYS a wonderful thing! It allows you to travel light as you jettison losers and energy parasites.)

Thanks for letting me ramble today! :) My point, if I have one, is that when you hit a death event in your life that involves a person very close to you, you are going to be psychically and emotionally derailed for a while. Things will NOT be “normal.” In fact, you’ll have to adjust to the “new normal,” which isn’t like the “old normal” at all. And others sitting outside the situation, who are not as devastated, will probably try to be kind in their own way, but ultimately unhelpful. You’ll still have loads of stuff, the bulk of the work after that person’s death, to deal with on your own, when you are at your weakest. And there will also be evil that works through other people — people you might have believed were close friends or loving relatives — as their dysfunction and the negative entities and inverse energy they are carrying around smells BLOOD and senses that you are SUFFERING and DOWN and comes out for a nasty “loosh feast.” So you will also have some fights you need to involve yourself in, wars for integrity and clarity and decent boundaries and respect and a whole bunch of other stuff that might come up in the moment. You will be tested on every level at the WORST possible time.

This is why ANY connection you can build with the loving energy of the universe, Great Spirit, and the kind, healing energies of Mother Earth in ADVANCE of such a crisis is so very, very important. That’s what literally kept me alive through all of this, since my own health was fragile this summer BEFORE all this went down, and it only got worse throughout this crazy time. Now I’m in regeneration mode, but it was touch and go for me for quite some time.

Death isn’t for sissies. Psychic attack isn’t, either. And often, both things will rain down on you at the same time, and others around you are NOT going to understand, even if they mean well. Find your own tools NOW that you can rely upon to stay strong in the worst possible situations so you can get through them when they happen.

And never, ever forget that you are an eternal being, a sovereign spiritual creature of immense power and beauty and strength, and if you call upon that power and call for help from the kind beings of the universe who can hear your psychic distress, HELP ALWAYS COMES.

And those who secretly wish you harm or hate you? They will reveal their true natures.

Which is always a GOOD thing.

 

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